Dear Miley Cyrus: Please stop partying in my head. I’m tired of your song. I am 31 years old and I look and sound ridiculous when I start humming or singing about hopping off a plane at LAX. I really just need you to stop nodding your head like yeah; and moving your hips like yeah everywhere. Thank you.
Dear girls in my youth group: Thanks for trying to be helpful with my Miley Cyrus problem, but making me listen to the song AGAIN did not help. It was nice of you to try.