My friend Keymoni and I on Easter

Today’s Writing Prompt: List five ways you’ve changed in the last five years.

1. Health: I care more about my health. I exercise 5-6 days a week and I’m running (did Couch to 5K Week 3 day 1 today–success!). I eat more whole and organic foods. I try to sleep enough.

2. I like who I am. Five years ago, I didn’t quite feel that way.

3. Assertiveness: I’m much more able and willing to speak up and be heard.

4. I’ve learned to let go when necessary. Sometimes friendships aren’t forever. Sometimes relationships are more draining than edifying. Sometimes ideas don’t work out. Sometimes change has to happen. I am better able to accept all of that and let go when I need to let go–especially when it’s out of my control.

5. I take a lot more chances and try to participate in new activities and opportunities. Life is short, after all.

Your turn!

9:10 on a  Sunday night.

It had been a busy day. Youth Sunday services in the morning and a rehearsal for a Wednesday Night youth fundraiser in the evening. Rain all day. Allergies causing distress. Benedryl settling into my system for the night.

Laptop open in front of me. One Google Chrome tab holding Facebook. One Google Chrome tab on my site so I could proofread the next day’s post. Tweetdeck open and buzzing in the background.

A tweet from one of the news outlets: “POTUS to speak at 9:30. Subject unknown.”

Me to Jason: “The President is addressing the nation in 20 minutes. That’s strange, right?”

Tweetdeck open exclusively now. More tweets.

What happened over the next hour was extraordinary from a social media standpoint. The tweets and retweets flew by.

“POTUS addressing the nation on National Security.”

“Probably Libya.”

“My money’s on Libya”

“POTUS speech about national security, not about Libya.”

“It’s not Libya.”

“This announcement better live up to the hype. I want to go to bed, but now I’m waiting.”

“I bet it’s Bin Laden.”

“US Official has confirmed that we killed Bin Laden.”

“Pentagon official confirms that we killed Bin Laden.”

“Donald Rumsfeld confirms that the US has killed Bin Laden. We have the body.”

And then the snark and arguments started–Obama was waiting until the firing ceremony on Celebrity Apprentice, numerous tweets about needing to see the long-form death certificate, he’s just finishing what Bush started, someone find Toby Keith and get him to the recording studio…

It went on and on. While I watched Tweetdeck light up, Wolf Blitzer and the other talking heads on CNN rambled for an hour on the television in our bedroom. Sometimes I muted them. Sometimes I listened. Basically, they spent an hour saying, “I don’t want to speculate, but what do you think it could be?” and then “We don’t want to break the news before the President.” And then, finally, when almost the whole world knew what it was because they had already read it on Twitter or Facebook, “Osama Bin Laden Dead” splashed across the screen.

We waited and waited for President Obama to appear. And then we waited some more. I could physically feel my anxiety level rising. At one point, I tweeted “I’m hoping this POTUS announcement doesn’t live up to the hype on CNN. They are scaring me!” As news about Bin Laden started to spread and then as it was confirmed over and over by various news organizations, cheers and congratulations rang out on Twitter and Facebook.

My first reaction? Relief. Relief because the news wasn’t all of the things I thought it could be. Relief because enemy #1 was finally dead and couldn’t kill anyone else.

Second reaction? This isn’t over. Enemy #1 is dead, but that just means Enemy #2 moved up in ranks. Terrorism won’t die with Bin Laden. This may make things worse.

And then as everyone celebrated and cheered online and in the streets of DC, as various friends made jokes about Bin Laden being bad at hide and seek and as other friends declared joy over “Osama burning in Hell,” I became confused and unsettled. It wasn’t a “holier than thou” or self-righteous type of feeling. It was more of a “this just doesn’t feel right,” feeling. I updated Facebook with Jesus’ words from Matthew 5:44 (Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you). It wasn’t Christian showboating–it was a reminder to myself about Jesus’ words in light of this situation.

After all, as evil as Osama Bin Laden’s actions were and as terrible as his legacy is…

…he was created in God’s image. Just like me. Just like you. His death may be a relief and it will be cathartic for many victims and survivors, but is it something to revel in and celebrate? Is it okay to cheer if you believe this man is now burning in Hell? Is this justice?

I don’t begrudge you your feelings–whatever they are. I have a lot of wonderful, faithful friends who are all reacting in a variety of ways this morning. There are a lot of perspectives and viewpoints represented and I don’t think mine are better than yours. To me, this situation is difficult. I don’t know how to respond or react. I dread each new person I run into today because there’s a good chance this will come up and I don’t really want to discuss it yet. I think I need to live in the ambiguity and questions for now.

No matter what our viewpoints, I hope we can join each other in praying for peace.

Alleluia! Christ is risen!
The Lord is risen, indeed!

"Noli Me Tangere" by Duccio di Buoninsegna

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?’ She said to them, ‘They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.’ When she had said this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? For whom are you looking?’ Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, ‘Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Mary!’ She turned and said to him in Hebrew,‘Rabbouni!’ (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, ‘Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” ’ Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, ‘I have seen the Lord’; and she told them that he had said these things to her. John 20:11-18

God of mercy,

we no longer look for Jesus among the dead,

for he is alive and has become the Lord of life.

From the waters of death you raise us with him

and renew your gift of life within us.

Inrease in our hearts and minds

the risen life we share with Christ,

and help us to grow as your people

toward the fullness of eternal life with you,

through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

(from The Book Of Common Worship)

photo © 2007 tree-species | more info (via: Wylio) On Monday morning, I rescued the left-behind palm branches from around the church. The children joyfully waved them during worship, but they were set aside and forgotten as they went to the gym to shoot baskets or raced to see if any donuts remained.

I wonder this morning what happened to the branches on the road into Jerusalem?

Palm Sunday shouts of  ”Hosanna!” and “Blessed!” are silent today. The branches that waved have been forgotten.

Jesus, the hero of the parade just days earlier, is condemned and abandoned.

What an emotional roller coaster that must have been, as Sunday’s welcome to the city turned into the request to “Free Barabbas–Jesus can die.”

Sunday started with loud shouts and praises. Friday ends silently with mourning and lost hope.

We are the people of Easter, so we know how it ends. The first disciples did not.

Peace to all of you as you finish your Lenten journeys.

photo © 2009 Marion Doss | more info (via: Wylio)

Holy Week is hard for me. I want so badly to make it a wonderful week of devotional study and penitent prayer…but when you work in a church, it’s so very difficult. I don’t believe that Easter is the most important Sunday. We should celebrate Easter every Sunday.

But in reality? Easter is the biggest Sunday. There’s a lot to do for Holy Week and for the Easter Service. It’s an all hands on deck kind of week with teams of volunteers and staff working together to create, celebrate and participate together (and sometimes things fall apart or need extra attention–that’s happened some this week).

I always get to Maundy Thursday worship and think–Already it’s here?  And then I feel guilty because I haven’t been a very reverent participant of Holy Week. And so, in the next 72 hours, I will try to quiet down and prepare. I’ve spent Lent preparing through worship, prayer and fasting and now I will attempt to reclaim Holy Week as a time to turn my heart toward the Holy One.

See, my servant shall prosper;
he shall be exalted and lifted up,
and shall be very high.
Just as there were many who were astonished at him
—so marred was his appearance, beyond human semblance,
and his form beyond that of mortals—
so he shall startle many nations;
kings shall shut their mouths because of him;
for that which had not been told them they shall see,
and that which they had not heard they shall contemplate.

Who has believed what we have heard?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by others;
a man of suffering and acquainted with infirmity;
and as one from whom others hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him of no account.

Surely he has borne our infirmities
and carried our diseases;
yet we accounted him stricken,
struck down by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions,
crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the punishment that made us whole,
and by his bruises we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have all turned to our own way,
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
By a perversion of justice he was taken away.
Who could have imagined his future?
For he was cut off from the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people.
They made his grave with the wicked
and his tomb with the rich,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him with pain.
When you make his life an offering for sin,
he shall see his offspring, and shall prolong his days;
through him the will of the Lord shall prosper.
Out of his anguish he shall see light;
he shall find satisfaction through his knowledge.
The righteous one, my servant, shall make many righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will allot him a portion with the great,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong;
because he poured out himself to death,
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 52:13-53:12