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Mentoring Matters

January 26, 2012 in Children's Ministry, Friends, Fun, My Life, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

My little sister Katie and I at the Evansville Icemen Game on Friday night

Just for a moment, close your eyes and picture yourself as a ten year-old. Think of all the adults who helped you be a kid every day.

I think of my mother. My father. My Godparents. My Sunday School Teacher Mrs. Graves. My church choir director Mrs. Barber-Pederson. My school music teacher Mrs. Birk. My fifth grade teacher Mr. Stone. There were others along the way who took time to love me.

I was blessed with a lot of adults who took time to nurture me, encourage me, develop my talents and help me find my way. I realize now how important those relationships were and still are in my life. I can picture people who came alongside me at all stages in my life and mentored me and helped me be a better version of myself. I’m grateful.

I am a Youth and Children’s Minister, a Big Sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters Henderson, a Girl Scout volunteer, and a Boy Scout parent because I realize the importance of adults taking time to build relationships with children and teenagers.

Today is National “Thank Your Mentor Day” and January is National Mentoring Month. Mentoring has always made a difference in my life–in official and unofficial capacities.

We can all mentor and nurture and encourage and love the kids in our lives.

If you’re a parent, be the best parent you can be to your children and look for ways to help them develop other meaningful relationships with their teachers, leaders and family members.

If you’re an adult with time to give (and really–we can always find time if it’s important enough), lead a Scout troop, become a Big, volunteer in a children’s or youth ministry at church, coach a little league team, give lessons, raise money to support organizations related to any of the above.

And guess what? If you mentor, you become a better version of yourself too! It’s really a win-win.

Fragile

December 18, 2011 in Bible Nerd, Children's Ministry, Ministry, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Greetings, favoured one! The Lord is with you.’But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob for ever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.’ …Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’ Then the angel departed from her. Luke 1:26-38

“How old you think Mary was when she found out she was going to become a mother?” I asked the students.

“Sixteen or seventeen,” One replied.

“No, younger. Thirteen or fourteen,” another suggested.

The usual conversation then followed. Adolescents discussing what it would be like to find out you were going to have a baby…the wonder about whether or not one would believe it if an angel appeared…guys acting out Joseph’s probable reaction…students sidestepping the themes of sexuality (or not sexuality, whichever the case may have been).

I’m always humbled a bit when I consider that God handed his baby boy to a very young woman and her equally young husband-to-be. I don’t know Mary and Joseph personally, but I have a hunch that if they showed up next Sunday to volunteer in the church nursery I probably wouldn’t leave them in there alone. But God entrusted them to care for and raise the Savior of the world.

That’s what God does, though, right?

One of my favorite verses comes from 2 Corinthians 4:7. Speaking of the Gospel, the author points out:

“But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us.”

Clay jars are fragile and break easily. They are often just ordinary containers that do not have much value. They are a lot like me. Or like the teenagers and kids I work with. Or maybe like you.

But God entrusts the Gospel to frail, ordinary vessels.

Young Mary and Joseph cradled the Christ baby. You and I carry Christ’s message.

May our fragility glorify God all the more.

Tuesday Ten: Things Teenagers Worry About

November 14, 2011 in Tuesday Tens, Youth Ministry with 2 Comments

This weekend, our students went to Camp Loucon for our Fall Retreat. It was an amazing weekend.

On Saturday night, we had an interactive prayer activity. Ten stations around the room provided students with different ways to pray and experience God.

One of the stations invited students to make signs naming the things that cause them fear or worry.

They created an entire wall of signs naming their worries. “I can’t believe their honesty,” one of the ministers present said to me when I stepped over to that station to see how things were going.

So here are ten things in their own words (I translated, just in case you can’t read the writing)

What will. happen to my sisters when I leave home.

Never being good enough.

Which road to I follow?

Caution Temptaion Ahead

Getting hurt by the one I love…again

I won’t have someone to fall back on/losing my bestfriend/Failure

The choice between what is right and what someone else thinks is right.

Which college?

Now I don’t know if I’ll make it (to heaven/God, I presume)

How do I know to trust Him, or anyone else?

Retreating

November 10, 2011 in Fun, Ministry, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

I do love my job. And I really love my job in November. There are so many great events in the life of our church during November. The Fall Retreat at Camp Loucon in Lietchfield, KY is one of the best things our youth group does each year. It’s great because it’s the whole group together and a lot of our students can make it or do make it a priority to attend.

We have 13 students and 3 adults (and an adult and student from First Presbyterian Church Sturgis, KY riding with us) leaving late this afternoon (Friday) to make our way to camp. 100 other students and adults from 9 other churches will meet us there.

My hope is that it would be a restful weekend for our students and that they would allow themselves to disconnect from their stressful worlds and spend time with the community and God.

I’m going into this weekend at not quite 100%…but I’m going to do my best to rest in the knowledge that God’s really the one leading our retreat and the other youth directors and I have done our parts to prepare.

It’s going to be a beautiful, cool weekend at Loucon! I hope you enjoy yours, wherever you are!

Middle School Mission

June 29, 2011 in Church, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

I’ve been taking a group of middle school kids to City Sights, City Lights since 2002. CSCL is our Presbytery’s middle school mission experience. 48 hours spent working, playing and hardly sleeping somewhere in Kentucky. Today we leave for Bowling Green to stay at Western Kentucky University–in the dorms, even, which will be a fun experience for our 6-8th graders (and the high school sophomore I’m bringing because she’s awesome and wanted to come help).

I’m taking three brand new middle schoolers–meaning this is the first youth group event they will experience. I’m also taking Jonas, who is in 7th grade. This will be the first big youth group event he and I will spent together without his dad. In total, it’s 8 middle school kids, one high school student and me heading to Bowling Green this morning.

We’ll work at a church we helped renovate on a CSCL trip in 2007 and we’ll help staff a day camp. We’re swimming both nights and having a high tech scavenger hunt around the campus. We’re worshiping in the campus chapel with one of the campus ministers and the students he’s gathered to help him.

We appreciate your prayers!

Home

June 19, 2011 in My Life, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

The New Orleans missionaries are home.

I slept for 10 hours.

Jason and I have done tons of laundry (he and Jonas spent the week at Boy Scout Camp).

I am sipping coffee, skipping church and playing with the pictures I took on my new camera. If you think I posted a lot of pictures (to facebook) this week (an even 100–so easy with the iphone app to post them as I took them or post them on the church’s wifi while my phone was charging at the end of the work day…although 100 is a lot of pictures to post, even for me.), just wait until you see the ones that haven’t posted yet. I”ll share some of them here…like this picture of a terrified youth director holding an alligator that the swamp guide assured me does bite and would pee on me.

It was an exciting week. I worked in a warehouse with recovering addicts sorting clothes that they would sell at their thrift store. I spent an afternoon with children at a day camp in the inner city. I sat with Alzheimer’s patients at a nursing home and listened to stories and held hands and encouraged students who felt ill-at-ease to do the same. I worked at Louisiana’s biggest food bank. I scraped and painted doors at Rabouin High School in downtown New Orleans. I prayed. I ate beignets in the French Quarter. I worshiped at an African American charismatic church. I drove through the lower ninth ward.

And the students did even more than that.

I planned, readjusted plans, made rules, relaxed rules, took equal amounts of complaining and loving words, answered about 1000 questions and slept for about 30 hours all week.

It was a full week and an amazing mission trip. I’d go again tomorrow.

But for now, my world starts to return to normal. It’s Sunday morning and Father’s Day. I plan to spend most of today off my feet and hang out with one of the coolest dads I know (and call the other coolest dad I know later).

Troy

June 16, 2011 in Church, Ministry, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

(I’m in New Orleans with my students for two more days. I thought I’d attempt updating from my phone. If it looks funny, I’ll fix it when i get back–or Nibby will fix it sooner!)

Yesterday, I met Troy Peloquin. Troy works with Recovery School District in New Orleans. This used to be a curriculum project–meant to get schools on the right track teaching-wise. Now they are recovering from Katrina. Their enrollment is at about 65% what it was pre-Katrina. They have opened as many charter schools as public schools, which is unusual. “All eyes are on New Orleans,” Troy explained.

We are working at Rabouin High School, right in the heart of New Orleans. It’s a charter school and will have 9-11 graders next school year. It’s an old building, battered and damaged in the wake of Katrina. Our team scraped paint yesterday and will apply paint today.

Troy is a math teacher. “Five years ago, I was teaching and got jumped. I woke up in the hospital. One week later, they put me on this project.”

“Do you want to teach again?” I asked.

He stopped scraping my door and said, “I miss it every day.”

He just can’t decide whether he’ll teach high school kids or younger kids. “I’d live to start with a pre-k class and take them through high school. But it doesn’t work that way.”

Troy is someone who helps me remember the joy of service.

If you pray, pray for Troy.

He just got engaged.

He found out yesterday that 42% of the program staff was cut, but he gets to keep his job.

He is serving in a tough place and it would be easy to start losing hope.

It’s a great week in New Orleans.

(and if you’re wondering, I do not recommend the wordpress for iphone app.)

Together

May 2, 2011 in Ministry, Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

This is my post for the Rally To Restore Unity. You can follow the rally all week on Rachel Held Evans’ site.

When I first came to Henderson, KY as the brand new youth director of Presbyterian Church, I was invited to go to lunch with the local youth minister’s group by the wife of the Young Life leader at the time. I was anxious to figure out what this youth ministry was really about, because it certainly wasn’t shaping up to be like they said in the books I read, so I agreed to go.

At that lunch, I met a couple of guys who became long term ministry friends.The group was loud and friendly and it was a fun way to spend lunch. I went the next month and the next month.

I’ve been part of this group for 11 years. Of all of the people who were at that lunch today, only one other guy (Cliff, who has served as a volunteer youth minister at Spottsville Baptist Church for more than 20 years) and I are still serving in Henderson.

Youth ministers/directors/leaders/volunteers have come and gone. Some stuck around for several years. Some I only met once or twice. Sometimes we had a core group of 4-5. Right now we have a core group of 10-12. Currently we represent six Southern Baptist churches, a Catholic church, a Methodist church, a Presbyterian church, an Assembly of God church, an Episcopal church and Young Life.

Usually if someone comes alongside our group, it’s because he or she shares a vision for unity across denominational lines and a desire to share Jesus’ love with students and the community rather than just grow individual churches (or he or she is trying to sell us something–that happens from time to time). We have shared all kinds of ideas. We have collaborated on all kinds of rallies, assemblies, service projects, appreciation dinners, campus ministries, events and studies.

There have been ups and downs with this group. We have fun, great stories–the time we lined a high school girl up to give her FIVE MINUTE testimony at a school night rally at one of the middle schools…and she talked for an hour and ten minutes. The time we hosted an event called Dream Escape and hooked a kid named Squishy up to a heart monitor as part of the skit and every time a pretty girl got close to him, the monitor started beeping really fast. The current ongoing putt-putt competition between our youth groups to win the Silver Driver (an old golf club spray painted silver). A couple of weeks ago when we decided to walk to lunch together and on the way back were inspired to play the Lying Down Game (pictured).

We also have stories of hurt or stories when one of the group has left–willingly or unwillingly or on bad terms. We have had rocky moments when we just couldn’t figure out how to work with each other. We have had touchy moments when doctrines didn’t agree and we forgot that we’re more than our church doctrines.

A few years ago, we started to do something rather unique. We started meeting each week to pray. I think we started thinking we would pray for our churches and our ministries…and we do. Sort of. Mostly, we share our lives with each other and we pray for each other. We ask about each other’s families and we support each other through loss or illness. We stand by each other when one of us is struggling in life or ministry. We pray for each other in any and every way needed.

Everything this group has done in the past eleven years? Praying is the best thing. These lunch buddies and ministry colleagues became my friends. They became my support system. They became people I could turn to when things went wrong and people I could speak honestly to when I was scared to be honest. The beautiful thing about this is that we all are serving different churches in different denominations.

I’m so grateful that I’m part of this group that has chosen to see each other as brothers and sisters in Christ and work with a common purpose and goal. Not only has this created wonderful relationships and co-ministries, but it sets a great example for our students and our community. They are friends and brothers and sisters and I pray regularly for their ministries, their students, their families–and I believe that we’re honoring Jesus and the prayer he prayed in John 17 for his followers and for those who would believe because of the ministry and work of his followers:

“I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” John 17:20-23

Do you have relationships like these? Where is unity happening in your community?

Do you like clean water? Give to Charity:Water and participate in the Rally For Unity!

For The Better

April 18, 2011 in #RunRevRun, Friends, My Life, Youth Ministry with 2 Comments

photo © 2010 { QUEEN YUNA } | more info (via: Wylio)I had lunch with a friend the other day. During the course of our time together, she told me about some things that were happening for her professionally and some things that were happening between her and her co-workers. She’s finding that her co-workers are rather rude, are saying some harsh things to her and are not glad about any of her successes. “Jealousy,” I told her. “They’re jealous.”

It was obviously true. She’s hardworking and she knows that to be the best, she has to be the best.

In her profession, success is made through clients and sales. Her co-workers, I think, are missing the point. My friend is setting the bar high–they should be trying to reach it or set it higher. They should let my friend, their co-worker, enrich their experience in the profession. Instead, they are grumbling and turning on her.

I, for one, want to have people in my life who enrich it and cause me to be better and work harder. I want to cultivate friendships with people who know about different kinds of things and have different skills and talents and encourage me.

I made the move to this new site this weekend. I probably wouldn’t have bothered to learn so much about what that would take and probably wouldn’t have cared except for my friend, Nibby, who pulled me along and encouraged me that my web presence could be different. Keeping friends in my life who challenge me to go farther and help me do that is vital to me. My life is so much better because of them!

In my youth group, I always have one student (at least) who demands more of me. T’hey aren’t taking a lesson thrown together on Sunday afternoon, they aren’t just playing any stupid game and they aren’t going to ingest theology and ideas that I can’t present well. Currently, this student is a high school girl. She loves me and she trusts me to lead her–and she demands that I do it well. “Why did you choose this lesson?” she’ll honestly ask. “What do you have planned for Sunday night,” she’ll text on Tuesday. “So…is this all we’re going to do?” she wonder if we’re sitting around the youth room on a Sunday night shooting the breeze. She (and the students with high standards before her) cause me to be a better youth minister.

I participate in planning teams, discussion groups and boards that demand me to be prepared and bring something to the table. If I show up without anything to offer the group or if I am not doing some thinking and planning and question asking, I’m letting them down. A good example of this is my participation in the #RunRevRun site. Being part of that team demands that I am pulling my weight on the team, reading the instructions and emails that come my way, writing solid posts to contribute and doing my share of advertising and telling people about the site. If I don’t, I’m not fulfilling my responsibility as part of the team. This causes me to be a better writer and get a little bit better at promotion and advertising (I’m still working on that, but friends who are good at it are encouraging me!).

As an extension of that, being part of a community that encourages me to be healthy and get stronger and faster and in better shape has positive outcomes in many areas! I started training with the Couch To 5K Program last week because so many #runrevrun participants were using it and because my friend, Millie at See Millie Tri decided to give it a shot. Do I believe I’ll actually run a 5K one day? Because of these people, I believe it might happen (but let’s not get excited–I’m re-doing week 1 next week just to make sure I’m ready to do this)!

I don’t really feel like I have a lot of competition in my youth ministry job–and that’s probably because I meet, pray and pal around with many of the other youth ministers and leaders in town on a regular basis. Yet, even if it’s not competition, that group encourages me to do my best and challenges me with interesting discussions and ideas.

All this to say: Don’t be afraid of a little competition or to be friends with people who know more or who know about different things. They will make your life so much better and they will cause you to be the best you can be!

Who encourages you to work harder and do more?

Stretch

November 15, 2010 in Youth Ministry with 0 Comments

Jason and I spent the weekend at Camp Loucon in Lietchfield, KY with youth group kids from Presby Church Henderson and 85 other kids from the Presbytery of Western Kentucky.

One of the great things about Loucon is that they have adventure and team building activities that you can add into your retreat schedule. We do the usual retreat stuff–worship, devotional activities, games, free time…but we also do high ropes, low ropes, a climbing wall and a zip line. The point of the adventure activities is to give kids a chance to try something that might be different, difficult or scary for them, give them a chance to encourage other kids in their group, and to stretch individuals and groups to complete various tasks and goals.

We have several activities scheduled throughout the weekend and students sign up for the ones they plan to do. One of the most popular activities at Loucon, and one that everyone is old enough to do is the zip Line. The zip Line starts at the top of a ravine and you jump off a “cliff” and zip down to the bottom.

Our group loves the zip line. I love the zip line. It’s a little bit scary and a whole lot of fun!

But I knew one thing before we went to Loucon. Jonas was not going to be excited to try the zip line.

This was Jonas’ first year at Loucon. This school year has been fun because Jonas is finally old enough to be a legitimate youth group member. He’s been tagging along for years, but now he’s part of things for real.

He had a great time at Loucon. He met new friends, he climbed the rock wall, he did the low elements challenge course, he participated in energizers, worship, folk dancing and games. He surprised me when I asked for someone to pray during our morning gathering Sunday and he stood up and prayed for the 95 people gathered in Harbin Hall. He had a good attitude about activities, tried to be supportive (or at least quiet) during the group activities, and did what was asked of him.

But he did not sign up for the zip line.

Almost all of the rest of the Henderson group signed up for the Sunday morning slot. We gathered by the dining hall after breakfast and waited for our staff team. The group was not at maximum size. Jason decided to go find Jonas and see if he wanted to give the zip line a try.

Jonas was hanging out with some friends who had zip lined the day before. They convinced him to come up to the jumping off spot. He did. He was our crank man for awhile–he cranked the pulley that brought gear from the bottom to the top each time.

Jonas said, “I’m not going to do it. I’ll try it next year.”

And one by one, kids from our group jumped off the edge. And the group at the top was then smaller than the group at the bottom.

One of the kids handed Jonas some gear and he put it on, saying the whole time that he wasn’t going to do it.

And then someone convinced Jonas to let Tim hook him in and stand at the edge.

He stood.

He stood a little longer.

He asked if he could pray and he folded his hands and stood quietly.

The kids at the bottom began to cheer for him. “Give me a ‘J!’ ‘J!’ Give me an ‘O!’ ‘O!…’”

I prayed silently.

See, no one was going to push Jonas off the edge. That’s a step everyone takes because he chooses to take it. Whether he jumped or backed out, it was okay. For his sake? I wanted him to JUMP.

“It’s hard.” He said.

“You’ve done a lot of hard things,” I replied from my spot behind the rope.

Jonas has had a tough year so far. I wanted him to jump for him. I wanted him to feel the rush of the harness catching after the drop and that feeling of overcoming something hard.

And then, when they got to “S!” Jonas kicked off the edge.

And he loved it. Who wouldn’t?