Archives For My Life

I started the afternoon searching for a dress at the mall.

I did not find my dress. I did however, find this:

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Here’s the thing. I don’t really like this dress. But it caught my eye and I was drawn to it.

Besides being the wrong size, it is also a terrible color for me (coral, although it looks a bit red in the picture), a terrible style for me and just a completely bad idea. (Apologies if you’ve already purchased it. I’m sure it looks awesome on you.)

I did not try this dress (or one of a similar style). I did, however, try a couple of dresses on that I loved on the rack…and then hated once I had them on in the fitting room.

Sometimes I search for something–to do, to join, to be. I think I’ve found it. It looks just perfect. But then…it doesn’t fit. Wrong size, wrong style, etc.

The key is to develop the wisdom to know that I need to put it back on the rack and walk away.

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“Here comes your shadow!” Jason will often exclaim as I’m walking through the house.

He means that our dog, Samson, is following close behind me.

You can usually find Sam in my shadow…well, all the time. I often just explain Sam to other people this way: “I’m his person.”

It’s difficult to figure how this exactly happened. I mean, I’m the one who is usually putting the food and water in his dish and scratching him behind the ears…but it’s Jason who feeds him his favorite “illegal” foods and Jonas who is most likely to roll around on the floor with him.

It’s me, however. I’m the one Sam trails as I move from room to room when I’m home. I feel guilty sometimes for being so active. He’ll have just settled down on the floor at my feet and I’ll finish my task and head to another room. In the morning, no matter how early I get up, he gets up with me and follows me to the coffee pot. When I shower, he lays right outside the bathroom door, guarding it. Each night, he waits for me to go to bed and then follows me into the bedroom, waiting for me to finish getting ready. Then he follows me to my side of the bed as I settle in, accepts a pat on the head as a good night and then lays down.

(Fun fact: He lays there for about fifteen minutes. Then he heads to the living room to sleep on the couch all night. In the morning, before I wake up, he’ll come back to the bedroom and lay by the bed until I wake up. Isn’t that interesting?)

Sometimes having him as a shadow is a bit dangerous. There are many times that I’ve nearly fallen on my face when I turn around too quickly to switch directions and trip on him.

I suppose there is a spiritual application about following Jesus in all of this. I’ll leave it to you to find.

And I’ll share this blessing, brought to us by a Jewish sage:

“May you be covered in your Rabbi’s dust.”

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What is a prophet? Sure, there are official job descriptions and callings and titles that come to mind when I think of this word.

Yet, simply, the way I understand “prophet” is “mouthpiece of God.”

A prophet is one through whom God speaks.

At the risk of being sacrilegious, I would suggest that God speaks to me through you…and you…and even you!

You said something that made me realize what God had been pressing on my heart for some time.

You wrote something that caused me to pause and reconsider my perspective.

Your actions taught me what it was to be like Jesus.

Thank you!

Maybe you’re not always up to the description of “prophet,” but probably even when you didn’t realize it, God was using your words and actions to teach someone else.

To me, that prospect is both awesome and terrifying.

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“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Matthew 6:19-20

 

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In this world, there are places that are safe and there are places that are not. We see that this is true every day.

A horrific event takes place at a school and parents begin updating their facebook statuses declaring that they are going to homeschool their children.

A string of bank robberies in town causes people to declare that they are only using the drive-thru from now on.

Violence falls upon someone in a particular neighborhood and we lock our doors while we drive through it just to be on the safe side.

Truth is, though, there aren’t any guaranteed safe places…just places that we perceive to be safe. Danger, violence, and sadness can happen anywhere.

In my journey with Jesus, it is always tempting to stay where it is safe. I have all kinds of excuses for hiding out.

I’m so busy.

I represent the church, so I have to take into account their reputation.

I have a family so I can’t do anything too risky.

There are other people who are much more qualified to handle this.

With my list of excuses in hand, I stay in the safety zone while needs and injustices rise up around me. Sure, I should speak up, intervene, take up the cause of justice or stand on the side of the afflicted…

but…

but…

but…

 

Here’s the thing. There are no completely safe hiding spots, only those we perceive to be safe.

Pray for me as I learn to leave my hiding spots and excuses behind and do the things God is calling me to do.

Photo A Day for Lent: Vision

February 24, 2013 — 1 Comment

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I have terrible vision.

I’m like in the -10 or -11 range in both of my eyes. That’s terrible.

When I’m not wearing my contact lenses or glasses, everything is so blurry, I may as well not have my eyes open at all. I stumble around, I have to reach out to make sure I don’t bump into  things, I have to squint to read or see things that are even right in front of my face.

Sometimes, my (gas permeable) contacts get a little smudge or a little dirt on them. If I put my contacts in without cleaning them first–and cleaning them is kind of a tedious job so some days I see if I can skip it–I can see, but my eyesight is just a little blurry or obstructed. I blink, blink, blink to try to get my contacts to settle into my eyes right and to get my vision to clear…but usually what happens is I have to take them out, clean them and start over. It’s the only way for me to have to good vision.

The same is true in life. Sometimes, it’s like I’m looking at my life without clear vision. I can’t see anything ahead of me. I can squint and sort of see what’s in front of my face, but not exactly.

I’m in a season like that now. I can’t quite see what is ahead of me.

Lent is a time for me to clean my lenses and get them set straight in my eyes. I know it’s happening, but what I’m seeing is still blurry.

It’s only day 12.

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I’m 34 years old. When I was 24 years old, I wasn’t really concerned about my health, physical or emotional, at all. I was young, I was healthy enough.

I now realize that God has given me this only life and I want to live it as well as I can.

So now I eat foods that are low are in fat and high in nutrition. I don’t eat sweets. I run. I walk. I Zumba. I drink my water. I take time for myself. I volunteer. I breathe deeply. I laugh and smile. I have good friends who love me and I nurture those relationships. I spend time doing fun things with my family. I hang out with kids. I try new activities. I challenge myself. I read. I write. I listen to music. I play with our pets.

I could do all of these things better, and there is probably more I could do to live life fully. But I’m grateful for this life I’ve been given and I’m enjoying the living I’m doing.

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The word “love” is funny.

I love to drink coffee.

I love my sweet dog.

I love learning and writing.

I love my family.

I love and am loved by the Creator of the sunrise.

All of these loves are different from each other…but “love” is the right word!

May you have many people and things to love…and may you know that you are loved as well!

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It’s a wonder I’ve survived this long, living in this house with not one, but two, children.

Just kidding.

When I look back on the course my life has taken, given all the turns and paths I could have gone…

When I’m amazed at the wit, talent and love of my husband…

When I am overjoyed by the person Jonas is becoming–bright, kind, funny…

When I look around at all the gifts God has ceaselessly poured into my life…

I wonder at God’s goodness and love.

 

For the official RethinkChurch post about “Wonder,” click here.

See the first post about this photo project!

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The Lone Wild Bird (by Henry Richard McFayden and Marty Haugen)

The lone, wild bird in lofty flight

is still with you, nor leaves your sight.

And I am yours! I rest in you,

Great Spirit come, rest in me, too.

 

The ends of the earth are in your hand,

the sea’s dark deep and far off land.

And I am yours! I rest in you,

Great Spirit, come, rest in me, too.

 

Each secret thought is known to you,

the path I walk my whole life life through;

my days, my deeds, my hopes, my fears,

my deepest joys, my silent tears.

 

In secret depths you knit my frame,

before my birth you spoke my name;

within my soul, as close as breath,

so near to me, in life, in death.

 

O search me, God, my heart reveal,

renew my life, my spirit heal;

for I am yours, I rest in you,

Great Spirit come, rest in me, too.