It’s Fat Tuesday, so allow me this indulgence. Here are 10 things I’ve learned about fictional cul de sac life from the women of Wisteria Lane:

1. The people with whom you have nothing in common often become your very best friends.

2. When your neighborhood is destroyed by a tornado, it will likely only take 1-2 episodes before everything is cleaned up and back to normal.

3. Don’t hit an electrical pole when it’s raining and then get out of your car.

4. Every December, you can expect a tragedy to occur mid-month. It might be a tornado or a plane crash landing in your cul de sac, but something’s going to happen. And it won’t get resolved until the mid-season premiere in January, so hang in there.

5. When a new neighbor moves in at the beginning of the season, he/she/they have a secret and all hell will break loose before May Sweeps.

6. Each person’s story matters. If you look back, you can often find meaningful ways that people you have encountered have stories that intersect with yours and with your neighbors. Maybe it was Eli the handyman or Robin the former exotic dancer…

7. If you accidentally almost on purpose set your neighbor’s house on fire, make sure you don’t leave anything behind that could be used to blackmail you later.

8. With the right equipment, you can fake an entire pregnancy and none of your best friends and neighbors will ever know.

9. If you are a main character in your neighborhood, you can almost always survive being  hit violently by a car.

10. Secrets are hard to keep. It’s much better to trust your friends to accept you and love you no matter what.

The master of the pick-up line: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Welcome to a special Valentine’s Day Edition of the Tuesday Ten!

Proceed with caution. It is not advisable to try these on real people.

1. It’s a good thing I have a library card because I’m totally checking you out!

2. Maybe you can help me fix my phone? (What’s wrong with it?)  Your number’s not in it!

3. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

4. If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents!

5. If you were a booger, I would pick you first.

6. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name John?

7. Do you have a bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

8. I should give you a ticket. You have FINE written all over you.

9. Smoking is bad for your heart…and baby? You’re killing me!

10. Were you a Boy Scout? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot!

What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard?

Yes, you can use one as your Facebook status!

1. The storms are raging on the rolling sea and on the highway of regret; the winds of change are blowing wild and free–you ain’t seen nothing like me yet. (“To Make You Feel My Love” by Bob Dylan)

2. There’s a river in my mind that’s never still; swirling, soothing all the time gives me a thrill, swimming in the notes that go oh oh oh oh oh oh. (“Melody” by Kate Earl)

3. Freedom can be freezing, take a picture from the pretty side, mind your manners wave your banners, what a wonderful world that this angle can see. (“Sleep Through The Static” by Jack Johnson)

4. Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise. (“Blackbird” by The Beatles)

5. Give me your arms for the brokenhearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten, give me your eyes so I can see. (“Give Me Your Eyes” by Brandon Heath)

6. Well I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I’ve built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older. I’m getting older too. (“Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac)

7. As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat, this wind is blowin’ my mind. I see the kids on the street with not enough to eat. Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs? (“Man In The Mirror” by Michael Jackson)

8. That where I am, you may also be up where the truth, the truth will set you free. In this world you will have trouble, but I’ll give you my peace that where I am, there you will also be. (“That Where I am, There You Will Also Be” by Rich Mullins…and Jesus.)

9. Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there’s a heaven. And every day I’m more confused as the saints turn into sinners. All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have turned into idols of clay, and I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I’ve lost my faith. (“Show Me The Way” by Styx)

10. Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang. Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang! (“The Witchdoctor” by The Chipmunks)

Ten things happening in my life right now:

1. We are looking for a house! We’ve had a pretty steady Tuesday date each week with our amazing realtor (Kathy Jackson at Remax).

2. I’m working on a series of studies on the life of King David for Youth Group.

3. I’m working on an abbreviated series of studies on the life of King David for ACT club at South Middle School (we only have 15 minutes together and much less space and multimedia capabilities available).

4. I’m raising money for the Bowl For Kids’ Sake teams from the church. We have 3 teams and our goal is to raise $1,500 total.

5. Jonas turns 13 next week. Jason and I made a special gift for him…but we totally screwed up part of it. I’m trying to figure out how to fix the error in a way that looks normal.

6. Later this week, the church custodian and I are going to paint the Hoffman Hall art room at the church. We’re painting it a shade of blue called “Spa.” Won’t that be relaxing? I mean, besides that the major use of the room is for our after school art projects and that usually includes kids screaming and cutting paper into tiny pieces that fall all over the floor and pouring half a gallon of glue out of the bottle onto their half sheet of paper and glitter–so MUCH GLITTER everywhere.

7. I’m helping my little sister, Katie, sell her Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints, anyone?

8. I’m preaching on February 19. It’s Transfiguration Sunday, and I’m going to preach in costume as Peter, my favorite disciple. It will be my first dramatic sermon.

9. I’m working on scheduling some things for our summer mission teams. Fundraisers, team meetings, planning for the trip itself…

10. I’m sore because I tried a new type of interval workout yesterday morning and I went swimming and did some water weight things last night. No pain, no gain, I guess.

Have a fantastic last day of January!

When I go on a trip, retreat or overnight, here are some things I always pack:

1. My contact lens supplies

2. Shower stuff

3. Comfy clothes

4. My hairbrush

5. My Asics and clothes for a workout

6. Phone charger

7. Something to read

8. Twizzlers–my road trip candy of choice

9. Lipgloss

10. My wallet

Need to learn about the following things? I am not your girl!

1. European History

2. The care and feeding of snakes

3. How to grow an awesome garden…or how to keep a simple houseplant alive.

4. Sines, cosines, tangents (apologies to my high school trigonometry teacher!)

5. Fashion

6. Football. I’ve been going to games all of my life and I still don’t understand it.

7. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

8. Computer hard drives

9. Time travel

10. Sewing machines

I’ve been inspired this week by my friend, Nibby, who blogged the things he won’t do in 2012 the other day. Thanks, Nib!

1. Vote in the state primary and the national election.

2. Celebrate lots of big birthdays: Mom and Jason’s dad turn an age that ends in ’0′; Jason turns 40; Carly turns 30; Jonas turns 13.

3. Read the Bible cover to cover in the ESV on my Kindle. (No debate about the best version, please. I have a favorite version and I know the words of many passages well. I want to be challenged to wrestle with the text and consider the words and reading an unfamiliar version will cause that to happen. Plus, the ESV is free on Kindle!)

4. Continue my quest for health and peace of mind at the gym and other locations. Will that include running? My doctor will weigh in on January 10 when we look at my knee and ankle.

5. Read several books. I did not read very much this past year and I missed it.

6. Discern and make some decisions–big and small.

7. Celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary.

8. Use the writing prompt sites I have bookmarked and blog more frequently. What I know is this: even silly, unnecessary writing is better than no writing. And I miss writing.

9. Travel somewhere. Hopefully where there are hotels rather than campsites.

10. Hope.

Becky needs a bit of an attitude adjustment this week! Here are ten things that are bringing me joy these days.

1. The holiday movies and TV episodes on Netflix. I watched a Hallmark-ish movie starring James Van Der Beek (Dawson) the other night with tears streaming down my face it was so sticky and sweet and joyful.

2. Troop 280 sold all of their Christmas trees in 2 weeks! Which means we can stop working our four hour shifts AND that the troop will have money to prepare for camp next summer.

3. My annual shopping and dinner date with Jason (rescheduled for later this week since he is sick).

4. Our Christmas tree and lights

5. Kids in cute nativity costumes

6. Pinterest (I’m on my way to addiction)

7. It’s not quite as cold as it usually in December

8. I have the song “I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas” stuck in my head

9. Sweet potatoes

10. Sam’s face peeking around my laptop screen