I Will Be Scared

June 2, 2011

It doesn’t take much to make me nervous and fearful. This is unfortunate, but true. I am an introvert. I am a worrier. I am nervous about doing new things.

But I made a decision a long time ago: Just because it scares me doesn’t mean I won’t do it. In fact, if it scares me, I might make myself do it just to prove to myself that I will.

I think about all of the scary things I’ve done in the last ten years. They aren’t scary to you, probably, but to me they are or were at one point:

  • I bought and sold a house
  • I got married and became a stepmother (scary just in the sense that it changed everything about my life)
  • I take my youth group on mission trips to places that are far away and new
  • I throw myself off a rock once a year and zip through the trees on the Camp Loucon Zipline (scares me every time)
  • I volunteer at a campus club at one of our middle schools each week
  • I started running
  • I publicly write a blog that you may or may not like
  • I preach and speak and lead and stand in front of large groups with a microphone in my hand
  • I go to lunches and social engagements where I hardly know anyone and I introduce myself and make small talk
  • I drove to a conference 900 miles away and didn’t even really know any of the other 70 people in attendance

My instinct in all of these cases was and is to NOT do it. I’m glad I made the deal with myself to do things that scare me, because I’m really glad I did and do all of those things on that list.

Summer has started and I’m standing at the beginning of June with a whole new list of scary things in front of me. It won’t be long before I’ll again feel that familiar–butterflies in the stomach, heart beating fast, I don’t want to do it–feeling.

That feeling is followed by a small voice that reminds me I can do scary things.

(NOTE: none of the above applies to snakes. In case you wondered.)

 

 

2 responses to I Will Be Scared

  1. I’m so glad you decided to “suck it up” and come to #unco11. I loved meeting you!

    • Jo-Anne Sanders June 2, 2011 at 7:47 pm

      I am so glad that you do things that “scare” you. I wish I was as brave as you. God’s love flows through you and you are a light to so many people.