That’s one of Jonas’ new things to say whenever we’re having a conversation and things go quiet. It happened the last time when I was visiting with him in his room before bed and we were talking about his dear and (recently) dearly departed hamster, Zipper. “….and awkward silence….” he proclaimed.
“Not really awkward. Just silent.” I replied.
I’m pretty comfortable with silence and it’s rare that I experience a length of silence that feels awkward.
Especially when I’m with people that I love and who love me, I’m very comfortable just existing. I can ride in the car with a friend for an hour without talking and it wouldn’t bother me a bit. I can sit next to Jason on the deck and not say anything for a long time. I’m even comfortable sitting at a table with someone, sharing a meal and not saying anything (although a whole lot of other people find that particular scenario awkward, so I try to do my part).
For as much talking as (many of you know) I’m capable of doing, I really do enjoy silence.
Sometimes, as I sit silently with a loved one, I’m thinking about what I’m going to say or what I need to say, turning it over in my head, making sure it’s going to come out the way I mean it.
Sometimes I’m thinking about things that have already been said.
Sometimes, I’m just grateful that I don’t feel like I have to say something.
Sometimes, honestly, I’m thinking about my to do list or what’s coming next or what we’re going to have for dinner or what’s going on somewhere else. Sorry about that!
Sometimes I’m just enjoying the company and not really thinking about anything else.
I don’t insist on it and I love carrying on conversation, as well, but there’s something wonderful about the things that can happen in silence and the things that are communicated when no one is talking.
It’s the weekend–weekends can either be very loud or very quiet. I’m hoping for and needing some silence today.