Snake Handler

July 31, 2009

So it’s Friday afternoon. Today was a busy, productive day. I worked out (and it kicked my butt), got my hair cut, spent some time with my after school assistant and then gave her the great task of preparing the after school room for a new year (hooray for Stepheny–I dislike doing this job every year). I also went to lunch with my dear friend, June, and got lots of end of the week stuff done at the church. Now I’m home, petting my 90lb puppy and listening to Jonas play his DS or PSP or one of the initialed video game things he is spoiled enough to own!

So, school starts on Wednesday. We went to parent orientation last night. It lasted two hours, which meant I pretty much missed all of worship practice. As a 5th grader at Holy Name, Jonas switches classes this year, so we had to rotate through all of his classes and meet all of his teachers. Let’s just say, it’s a good thing I was there to help Jason, because it’s apparently been a long time since he had to follow a class schedule. I’m dreading fifth grade math and fifth grade science. I can help in his English, reading, and social studies classes until the day he graduates from college, but math and science are completely different stories.

When we were done with orientation, we headed to the church in a remake of day 3 of Noah’s flood. It was raining so hard that the streets were flooding. My dear co-worshippers were still assembled, even though practice was technically over, so we hung out, raided the freezer (popsicles/frozen squishies!), and went over a couple of the songs. And then we all drove home in the flood I just mentioned.

Another story from yesterday: So you know how I love all of God’s creation with one glaring exception? I hate snakes. I don’t just hate them…I have an incurable irrational fear about them. I mean, like I’m really afraid of them so that I freeze up and am unable to talk when I unexpectedly come across one. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t go camping and I think all nature trails should be either really wide or really paved. I used to try to get over this fear by making myself watch shows about snakes on the Discovery channel or learning about snakes from friends who like them, but this does not work.

So, I pulled into my driveway yesterday and my husband and our neighbor, John, are coming around the side of the house to the front walkway. I start to get out of my car when I hear John say, “Yep–that looks like a chicken snake, there.” I immediately got back into my car and closed the door. And I just sat there, while John and Jason headed back to the backyard. And I sat there. And I contemplated leaving my car, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I just sat there some more. Finally, John came back around with a big stick. He starts searching for the snake, which has slithered away somewhere.

I am hot in my car with the windows all rolled up and the engine off. So I turn the key to the on position and roll my window down about halfway. I hear John cursing at the snake, which he has finally located. He’s trying to pick it up, but it won’t cooperate. It starts to strike and John finally gets ahold of it, gets freaked out when it lunges at him and he throws it. At me. Toward my open window.

Which brings up an irrational fear that goes along with the snake thing. I’m terrified that a snake is going to fall into my car window when I’m driving or riding. Like out of a tree, you know? So I kind of panic a little bit.

But the snake does not make it all the way to my open window, but falls a few feet short. John comes running with the stick and starts beating the (poor–I’m not heartless) thing. Then he picks up the dead thing, waves it in front of my (now closed again) window and carries it across the street to the corn field.

I think it can be a good thing to get a really strong adreneline rush some times–keeps you wide awake, anyway.

In other news, I go see a specialist on Monday about trouble I’m having with my ankle. I’ll be glad to know what’s wrong, finally. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I have a feeling fixing it might hurt and I’m kind of a wimp.

So that’s what’s happening around here! Enjoy the weekend!

One response to Snake Handler

  1. Ha! I'm sorry, but that is funny. Of course, it's funny because it was you and not me. 🙂