This year, it seems that I’m surrounded by relationship trouble. Several of the kids that I work with in after school club and youth group have parents who are divorcing (and several whose parents are already divorced but still fighting), as well as some people I know on a friendship level that are going through the divorce process.
Just a note to any parents or future parents who are reading this blog: I pray that you will never have to go through the pain of a divorce. But if you do, please do not make your children carry your burdens! Don’t tell your children (of any age) about the fights you are having or what the judge said or what their daddy did that was just the stupidest thing ever. Please do not make them feel any more anxiety and stress than they have to feel. Please use this website with your future former spouse and do the best that you can do to help your children go through the process with as little pain as possible. Please realize that they are smarter than you give them credit for, they know more than you think they do, and they tell other people (like their children’s or youth minister) about it all. Please do not treat your teenage children like you treat your friends and use them as a place to vent and complain–they are still children. Please do not think that you can turn your child against their other parent by telling them about all of the things the other parent did wrong. It only adds to the stress and pain that they feel. And please do not make them choose–no matter what age they are, it is painful to have to choose between the two people you love the most.
And that’s my rant for the day.