Dear people picking up kids after school:
If you happen to be picking up your (darling) children from school and there is a big white van with the words “The Presbyterian Church” on the side and it’s driven by a (most likely insane) patient looking woman, please allow her to merge her large vehicle into the line of traffic that is getting the heck out of there. See, you have one, two or three kids in your vehicle. The (insane and patient most of the time) woman has 13 kids in her vehicle. And they are all asking “What’s for snack?” and yelling, “Hey, Mrs. Becky!” and then speaking in a soft voice so that I have to say, “What?” 38 times. They are all giving me reports on their homework situations and giving each other reports on what their older brothers were saying to their girlfriends on the phone the night before.
It’s true–when else would I have the chance to learn about vampire bunnies or look at all the cards in a Dragon Ball Z deck? When else could I practice reciting the words, “Please put your seat belts back on” (because when I get a chance to go, I might gun it and the seat belts will be necessary)? When else could I have 4 kids inform me that I “could probably go now” and then feel relieved that I don’t listen to driving advice from 8 year-olds because we would have run over that pick up truck for sure.
Please, just let us merge! And don’t let your kids listen to what their older brothers tell their girlfriends on the phone.