Bet you’ve never been worried that your local hardware store was starting a new, really weird religion. I was never worried…until tonight.
See, Jason, Vallerie and I were sitting around the table at our house tonight, reading the Sunday paper, which on a Monday night meant browsing the ads. All of a sudden, Vallerie grabs ad of a local hardware store (BTW, Jason insists on calling this particular store “May-nerds” for some unexplained reason, but it will probably clue you into what store it is) and asks, “Hey, did you ever read the quotes and stuff at the bottom of the pages?”
Well, no, I had never thought to look there for “quotes and stuff.” I don’t actually ever look at the hardware ads anyway. Turns out, there are quotes. And some of them are strange and make me feel weird.
Here are some samples from this weeks’ add:
(some normal, kind of nice quotes)
“Nobody is useless while they have a friend.”
“Quite a few people owe their success to advice they didn’t take”
“Love is a miracle of civilization.”
(some quotes that are kind of dumb)
“To make an omelet, you have to be willing to break a few eggs.”
“Believe unconditionally. You now offer wisdom.” (Is it really wise to believe unconditionally?)
“When things seem to be going against you, remember the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
“The person that smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”
(the quote that wins the “huh?” award)
“Frantic reactions employ saboteurs’ headway and create likability even after negation.” (I swear, it says that in the May-nerds ad–look it up.)
(quotes that make me feel worried)
“Love is a temple. Love is a higher law.”
“Show a little faith, there’s music in the night.”
So, there you have it. Weird quotes from your local hardware store. If you become a regular reader, call me before you shave your head or drink any kool-aid so I can schedule your intervention.