Tuesday Ten: Things I Learned From “Desperate Housewives”

It’s Fat Tuesday, so allow me this indulgence. Here are 10 things I’ve learned about fictional cul de sac life from the women of Wisteria Lane:

1. The people with whom you have nothing in common often become your very best friends.

2. When your neighborhood is destroyed by a tornado, it will likely only take 1-2 episodes before everything is cleaned up and back to normal.

3. Don’t hit an electrical pole when it’s raining and then get out of your car.

4. Every December, you can expect a tragedy to occur mid-month. It might be a tornado or a plane crash landing in your cul de sac, but something’s going to happen. And it won’t get resolved until the mid-season premiere in January, so hang in there.

5. When a new neighbor moves in at the beginning of the season, he/she/they have a secret and all hell will break loose before May Sweeps.

6. Each person’s story matters. If you look back, you can often find meaningful ways that people you have encountered have stories that intersect with yours and with your neighbors. Maybe it was Eli the handyman or Robin the former exotic dancer…

7. If you accidentally almost on purpose set your neighbor’s house on fire, make sure you don’t leave anything behind that could be used to blackmail you later.

8. With the right equipment, you can fake an entire pregnancy and none of your best friends and neighbors will ever know.

9. If you are a main character in your neighborhood, you can almost always survive being  hit violently by a car.

10. Secrets are hard to keep. It’s much better to trust your friends to accept you and love you no matter what.