“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink or about your body or what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” Jesus (Matthew 6:25)
I tell people not to worry a lot. I believe people shouldn’t worry about things. I believe that worrying doesn’t make anything better.
Yet, I worry about stuff all the time. It’s a familiar feeling to me.
It may start with a phone call or an email–I had a phone call this morning that caused that feeling to start rising inside of me. The nervous flutter in my stomach, the hard to swallow feeling in my throat, the tears starting in the corners of my eyes. I don’t like that feeling. It’s a useless feeling that causes restlessness and sometimes hopelessness and fear.
“Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?” Jesus (Matthew 6:27)
Nope. There’s nothing life-giving or life-adding about worry.
Worry, I suppose, comes from doubt. There are some days when I have plenty of that! I doubt my own ability, I doubt the competency of people around me, I doubt that everything’s going to come together miraculously…
I doubt that God’s really big enough to handle even that.
I suppose that doubt is the reason I can’t successfully suppress that nerve-wracking, throat closing, tear inducing feeling. I would like to live a life that is worry free, although that feels impossible some days.
My life is complicated with complicated relationships and complicated tasks that need to be completed. I am surrounded by messages about who I am and about what I need to be doing to be better at being who I am. My friends struggle with the realities of life and I pray for them and offer them the most comforting words I know how to speak, but I am filled with concern and empathy for their situations. The news is rarely good news, the warnings get more severe, and the older I get the more I am aware of the trouble around me.
Yes, that’s a lot more pessimistic than I usually am. But today that’s where I am.
I worry. I pray, I hope, I work to overcome doubt, but I worry.